Bobzhuman

Department of the Interior Bulletin

Interdepartmental Memo from the desk of Hubert Doubledorf, Rapid City
Mount Rushmore National Park, South Dakota
May 31, 2005

As you know the heavy snows in the Black Hills of the Dakotas have caused a lot of problems this year. We appreciate each agency's effort to keep the parks open and accidents to a minimum.

There are unexpected problems and the main area of concern is with Rushmore. It wasn't until mid-April that the snows had melted enough from the mantle of the mountain to expose what appears to be the image of a small canine to the right of Lincoln. I have questioned all of the field teams and local law enforcement only to receive rather unsatisfactory answers as to how someone could have carved a 150 foot high image without anyone questioning or even noticing the equipment necessary to complete the task.

A local park road crew remembered that a private contractor from southern California had told them that he had a contract to remove embarrassing "nose hairs" from three of the presidents. The nose hairs reportedly were Flamagina Nostricium a vine that grows on the ceilings of caves, which the nostrils certainly are. It is true that we hired the contractor to remove the ever noticeable "hairs." What is disturbing is that a former field manager did not send a ranger to view the "hairs" initially but took the word of this contractor relying instead on what could be seen from the viewing deck through binoculars. There was never any follow up inspections of the site. The growth turns out to be plastic Boston Ivy purchased from the Michaels in Rapid City from July to October of 2004. The ivy was pinned to the roofs of the nostril caves. It appears that the contractor applied layers of plastic Flamagina over the course of some months which is why the "hairs" seamed to grow. Later the material was simply pulled out and allowed to fall to the talus and snow at the base. Apparently the real time spent on this project was not to burn the hairs out but to carve the canine head.

Agents are being sent to two Southern California sites to question individuals and to three retail outlets to identify who might have purchased a half dozen small squishable rubber pet toys that were found at the base of the mountain. The agency is asking that all department heads and managers review the situation and report any unusual events occurring from July, 2004 to April of 2005.