Amazing limited offer available only through BobMail... $129.95 You've heard about the amazing Bob-Ups and the incredible life regenerative qualities associated with daily contact with lightly toasted Bobs. For the first time BobMail is making a limited supply of Bob-Ups available directly to you. Try an introductory four pack of Bob-Ups and you'll be itching for more. We have a variety of plans that guarantee the correct amount of Bob-Ups to meet your needs. It is recommended that Bob-Ups are toasted in the original Bob-Ups Toaster, you can toast Bob-Ups in a conventional toaster. DONT OVERHEAT THE BOB-UPS! Call for details.Order your introductory Bob-Ups kit today and start living.
Bob-Ups can be highly addictive, you should consult your physician.
Oops, why can't people listen?
Morongo Valley, California
Office of Strategic Monster Control
All participating agencies be aware of the carnage taking place in downtown Morongo Valley. The perp appears to be an amalgam of the infamous Japanese urban legend Godzilla and what appears to be a small canine. It has been reported that all of the downtown high rise buildings have been leveled and that responding military personnel and equipment have been melted like wax.
Also, reportedly an individual from BobMail Inc. has been running around yelling , "We told them not to overheat the Bob-Ups! Now look what they've done! Oh, the humanity!" Be advised, this is chaotic... Wait, what is that sound? Sounds like Uncle Vinnie blowing through a vacuum hose doing a cheap imitation of a Ricola ad. Uh oh, we're in trouble here. There is something big outside the door and it's blowing flames from its mouth and destroying everything in sight. I hope I have enough time to send this email....to send the only image we have and to warn you all... DONT OVERHEAT THE BOB-UPS!
