Return of the Babyface
Donald A Jaffa
Our Christmas present this year was on the OPED pages of the LA Times, wherein Adam Schiff crossed the tee and dotted the Eye, but without the Panache of the Tuba player, at the end of Script Ohio. That fellow always merits a round of applause, especially if it is at the annual Michigan-OSU game for the Division Big Ten Championship. OSU has been beaten by Michigan these last two years, but a possible nose to nose re-confrontation ended when both were eliminated in the CFP semi-finals. His theory is that the referral to the DOJ and the decision of the Attorney General, will result in a (Finally!!!!) prosecution of Donald J Trump, and hopefully result in his going to jail instead of running against Biden in 2024. Adam Schiff hasn’t a clue as to what is coming in the future.
A recent biography of Samuel Adams (yeah the one the craft brewery is named after!) delights us with the careful and calculated effort to slowly turn the Crown Colonies from subservience into a nation subject no sovereign authority. When the Royal Governor of Massachusetts was recalled in ignominy, Boston celebrated, and shortly thereafter celebrated the first anniversary of self-imposed non-purchase of British manufactured and taxed goods. It was celebrated with a noon to dusk pig-roast and a total of 15 early and 45 later toasts, and when ended, the carriage line was a mile and a half long returning to Boston.
Now more than 15 years ago, the first criticism of Donald J Trump by Rosie O’Donnell, was emulated by a plump impersonator who climbed into the ring to berate the crowd with O’Donnell’s misogynistic rants. A Trump impersonator appeared, climbed into the ring, and knocked the O’Donnell onto the mat. The crowd went wild with enthusiasm. The little IDEA light went on in Vince McMahan’s brain so he called Donald J Trump to arrange the so called ‘Battle of the Billionaires!’
With Trump notoriously vain about his hair, McMahan made the bet that the Loser would have his head shaved a ringside in full view of the entire arena. At the time the most vicious of Vince’s Samoan wrestlers was ‘Umaga,’ who used the Somoan Spike to paralyze using a stab at the throat. Umaga was bad boy who was undefeated. Trump either recruited or was provided Bobby Lashly: a one time Army Sergeant who was a maniacal body builder and became a Hercules. The match lasted 33 minutes and Lashly pinned Umaga. McMahan was held fast in a barber’s chair already at ring side, and the crowd roared as he was covered in shaving foam and electric razors removed the hair from his head.
On this New Year’s Eve, the 20th year of ‘Baby Face’ John Cena’s wrestling in the WWE was celebrated with the current generation of the Somoan Wrestling stable. They are all related to the previous generation, so they parade into and out of the wrestling ring as ‘The Bloodline.’
Some wrestlers were noted for their non verbal skills, such as the Undertaker’s sitting up straight in the middle of the ring, or in a coffin. But the Maestro in the ring, with verbal skills, was ‘Baby Face’ John Cena. His first WWE match was with Olympic Gold Medal Wrestler, Kurt Angle, who asked the ‘Baby Face’ why he thought he could wrestle an Olympic Gold Medal wrestler. Cena smiled, and replied “Unbridled Aggression,” and proceeded to demolish Angle.
Cena mastered every variation of buffo performance in the center of the ring, from Hip Hop to whatever the writers in weekly scripting could come up with. For the next eighteen months there would be nothing sweeter than to see John Cena do the warm up every two weeks for Candidate Trump. Any venue would have every seat booked and filled, not just to see Trump, but to want to hear what John Cena would say and do in his warm up. Not being a politician would enhance his respectability in any political arena, and his record in the ‘Make A Wish’ charity provides a credible barrier against any personal enmity on the political trail.
Cena’s trademark admonitions to the crowd are what we need in the coming political debates, and in the speaking events: the proverbial ‘never give up,’ and the more provocative ‘You want some, come get some!’
